My father told me I was
worthless my entire life.
There are PROLIFIC HORRIFIC things he said to me & ways he treated me that it has taken me a lifetime
to let go of, and de-calcify from my INNER BELIEF SYSTEM & SELF-TALK.
I refuse to repeat them, anymore, let alone here.
It doesn’t help ANYONE.
What DOES help, is sharing HOW that experience impacted
1) my Love for myself
2) my belief in a Higher Power
3) my behaviors
My GRAMMY told me,
“YOU COULD DO ANYTHING.”
“YOU ARE JUST WONDERFUL!”
“You always PUT YOUR MIND TO IT, and just DO IT, and I think that’s just MARVELOUS.”
“YOU’VE done everything you want, and isn’t that just magnificent?”
It took me 42 years
to learn that it’s okay
to STEP AWAY
from ANYONE who doesn’t
intrinsically love me, believe in me and TELL ME.
But, the sadder fact
is that it took me
JUST AS LONG
to learn that it’s okay to
STEP CLOSER TO
the cheerleaders.
And, the CHEERLEADERS were HERE ALL ALONG.
Grammy’s not the ONLY ONE.
My MOM told me in how she paid
SPECIFIC ATTENTION
to ALL of my preferences: down to the specific things I said throughout the year,
did silent research and every Christmas was the most beautiful surprise-
like an ANGEL was watching me, listening to my every word…
Because there WAS an angel always watching and listening to me…
– it was her.
And, SHE & GRAMMY, and Grumps, and Spunky & Homily & ALL
my aunts and uncles, teachers, mentors, guides, and friends have
ALWAYS been silently supporting me, and ALWAYS there for me.
I CHOSE to live my life in resentment of
ONE person in my life who ABUSED ME.
I made HIM my Higher Power.
I didn’t know any better.
I forgive myself.
Thank GOD he was horrible enough to me to finally ALLOW myself to not take him back one final time in 2022.
Thank GOD I found recovery and have LET ALL THAT GO, and FILLED MY LIFE WITH TOPLINES & GOODNESS that give me
SUSTAINED PEACE & TRUE SELF-LOVE & INFINITE LOVE FROM SPIRIT, so that NOW I can share the learning.
NOW I can FOCUS on the CHEERLEADERS. 📣
THEY have the messages worth repeating.
And, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
YOU are ONE of them.
Thank YOU.
From the TOP of my SOUL… I thank you, forever.
And, I can PASS THOSE MESSAGES ON.
THAT is my MISSION in life.
So, today I tell you-
“YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.”
“YOU ARE JUST WONDERFUL!”
“You always PUT YOUR MIND TO IT, and just DO IT, and I think that’s just MARVELOUS.”
“YOU’VE done everything you want, and isn’t that just magnificent?”
“I’m watching all the little things and parts that make you up- and I just ADORE ALL of YOU.
I SEE you.”
I love you Mom, I love you Gram. All my teachers in ALL FORMS because we are ALL each others teachers.
All my ancestors, looking out for me, always, I vow to pass on the good. And so it is.
So much LOVE.
Beth, Love Addict Gratefully in Recovery